Figuring out how to make a situation “Win-Win” can be the key to creating long-lasting, interdependent relationships.
Being a win-win person means having both the heart and mind to always be looking for the outcome in a situation that is the most mutually beneficial.
Turning this way of thinking into a habit means trying to overcome the scarcity mindset that is ingrained in us.
Covey describes a win-win mentality as seeing life as something we can all succeed at rather than there only being room for one winner.
The Six Paradigms Of Human Interaction
Covey explained that win-win is one of six outcomes possible when handling a relationship:
- Win-win: Both parties to an agreement benefit and are satisfied with the outcome.
- Win-lose: Only one party gets what they want while the other loses out. This makes the winning party feel good as they have exerted a level of power over the other to get what they want.
- Lose-win: The same scenario happens as the above, but the losing party is usually trying to appease the winning party and is seeking validation and acceptance.
- Lose-lose: Both people lose. This will often be the case when each party is looking only to win from a situation and are too determined/stubborn to compromise.
- Win: represents situations where a person is so concentrated on winning, it’s all that matters. Someone else losing is simply a consequence of this.
- Win-Win or No-deal: The result is either a mutually beneficial outcome or there is no agreement made.
Looking at these six paradigms, it is not hard to see why creating an agreement that is win-win or no-deal is the best possible outcome for satisfying the needs of both parties.
In fact, it’s the only one that does.
Every other scenario involves an outcome that means one party holds power over another, so-called “weaker” party. This kind of inequality in a relationship can cause damage from the beginning.
Abundance Mentality vs Scarcity Mentality
Being a win-win person is not often an easy road to take. This is because we have been brought up to believe that when someone else has something, we can no longer have it.
This scarcity mentality causes fear and turns every aspect of life into a constant competition. It makes it hard to be happy for other people’s successes.
On the other side of this is an abundance mentality.
This involves believing in a creating and believing in a scenario where there is enough to go around for everyone.
Believing in this is essential to creating a win-win outcome.
Win-Win Means Being Both Nice And Tough
When it comes to Win-Win, Covey said “you not only have to be nice, you have to be courageous”.
Win-Win people want to succeed themselves, but they also genuinely want other people to succeed too.
Ingrained in almost all of us is this innate need to be comparing and competing with our peers.
We feel like if we lose or feel insignificant compared to someone else, our self-worth will be damaged as a result.
Someone has to lose so that we can win.
Win-win requires a change in thinking and being confident and courageous enough to know we can all win together.
This doesn’t mean rolling over and accepting an outcome you don’t want. At times it can mean negotiating hard and pushing for an agreement. You push because you believe in the benefits of the outcome to all parties.
Why Is This Important For Businesses?
Having a Win-Win approach to business is really the only way to create situations where everyone benefits from a mutually beneficial solution.
All parties leave negotiations feeling good about the plan of action and ready to get to work. They all feel a sense of commitment to getting the job done.
This encourages long-lasting relationships and happy people.
When combined with the other habits of highly effective people, this can be an incredibly powerful weapon on your arsenal!